I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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