dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
