my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
