You're completely useless in the revolution.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
