your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
