all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize