you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Someone came in the potted fern
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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