Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
