We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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