Pappa wants mamma naked
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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