I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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