just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
