My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
