ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
