Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
