The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
