I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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