Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Its about making memories worth repressing
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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