yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
