I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I wear drunk well.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
