Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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