bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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