I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
