I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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