Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
