it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
