its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
