Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
