I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
