How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
