i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
