I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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