the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
