Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
