I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
