thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize