Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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