Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
