so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
