..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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