beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
