A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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