Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
