Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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