literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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