i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
