So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
