sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
