were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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