we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize