Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
