she was so not down for the gang bang
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
