shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And then my night got REAL pukey
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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