Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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