Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry PoopyWAHWAHKinz hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so that wasnt chicken after all

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(563): View more from Iowa

My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.

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(319): View more from Iowa

He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle

(648): View more from

Since when is drunk an angle?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window

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(407): View more from Florida

You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.

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