Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
soo... how was my night?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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