whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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