I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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