my sisters under your porch take her home
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize