Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
