The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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