i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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