Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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