Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
