Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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