All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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