oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
