i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
