put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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