The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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