Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm so fucking centered right now
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
