Yo dont text me then not text me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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