You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
